- Domestic violence and other forms of abuse occur at all levels of society, among all kinds of people. Dating couples, married couples, and same-gender couples experience domestic violence in much the same way.
- Intimate partner violence is primarily a crime against women. In 2001, women accounted for 85 percent of the victims of intimate partner violence (588,490 total) and men accounted for approximately 15 percent of the victims (103,220 total). (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2003).
- Abuse is the fault of the abuser. To ask what the victim did "wrong" ignores the fact that abusive behavior is a choice made by the abuser. Other choices are always available to the abuser.
- Alcohol and other drugs often contribute to violence, but they do not cause it. Batterers often drink to prepare for battering, or so they can use "I was drunk" as an excuse.
- Rather than being "out of control," most batterers are in complete control of their battering - and in complete control of their choice of victim. Some are careful to inflict injuries only where they won't show, while others deliberately try to disfigure their victims.
- The most lethal time for a domestic violence victim may be when s/he leaves the relationship. Domestic violence that ends in murder frequently occurs after the victim is separated from the abuser or has begun to take actions to end the relationship. A victim may stay in the relationship because of fear that s/he will suffer significant injury or death if s/he attempts to end the relationship.
- Many women receive their first beating when they become pregnant.
- There is nothing a victim can do to change the abuser's behavior. Abusers change only when they decide they want to.
- It is illegal to physically or sexually assault, stalk, threaten, harass or restrain another individual. Domestic violence is against the law.
You have the right to be treated with respect, to make your own choices, to live without fear, and to be less than perfect. And that's a fact!