Abusive behavior rarely shows up at the beginning of a relationship. In fact, many abusers can be exceptionally charming when they choose to be.
Domestic violence can take several forms:
- Physical: This is the most overt form of battering and includes pushing, hitting, beating, inflicting injury with weapons, homicide, and suicide.
- Psychological: Characterized as "brainwashing", a person's self-worth is destroyed through harassment, threats, or deprivation of food and sleep.
- Sexual: When sexual abuse occurs between spouses/partners, it is rape. When sexual abuse is inflicted on children or teenagers by an older family member, it is incest.
- Destruction of Property or Pets: The destruction of property or pets may be another way that a person who batters is abusive. The destruction of the objects may also carry the message, "This time it's the car or the china; next time I could hurt you."
If your partner is an abuser, you may have noticed that he (or she) does some of these things:
- Humiliates, degrades, criticizes or insults you.
- Breaks things, especially your things, on purpose.
- Threatens to do things like take the children, or harm your pet, or get you fired. If you are in a same-gender relationship, the abuser may threaten to "out" you.
- Controls or interferes with where you go, what you do, and who you spend time with.
- Insults your friends and family.
- Makes you follow his (or her) rules (and sometimes changes the rules without warning).
- Accuses you of being unfaithful.
- Blames you for the way he (or she) treats you.
- Ignores you or makes fun of you when you're angry, hurt, or upset.